DAY 81 - FINDING A VOICE TO BE A LEADER
I hope you’re following along as we countdown the final 100 days of 2022 - you can join us anytime. Learn more about the program HERE.
I am an empty nester. My youngest daughter (of my three daughters) is in college. I’m blessed that she opted to attend a wonderful in-state university, thus being closer to home. Although only a short 30-minute drive away, our face-to-face visits are infrequent. After all, she has a full and busy life at school. Recently, I had a chance to spend time with her over a lovely breakfast at a local café. With our steaming cups of coffee in hand, she started to tell me of a situation, a concern she had involving another student at her school. As I listened intently to her feelings about this predicament she was experiencing, I witnessed a passion in her that was palpable. She peeled back the issues she observed and through her own thought process and determined that it was her place to step in and help. She didn’t ask me if she should do anything, she decided she should. It was the right thing to do. While she is certainly an adult by definition, the majority of college-age students are still trying to figure things out. And yet as she was talking, I realized that she had found her voice. I have always taught my daughters how important it is to form their own opinions and be confident in expressing them. Finding their voice to convey what they believe is true is a necessity. Whether it’s politics, religion, or any other topic, controversial or not, do not adopt someone else’s beliefs because it’s easier or more popular. Always hear other people out, and always be respectful if you disagree, but in the end, what really matters is what you believe.
I never remember my parents telling me that I should think for myself or even form my own opinions. Quite the opposite. There was an expectation that if you came from a household that supported a particular political party or viewpoint, you were expected to “carry the torch.” If you differed in your opinions, it was considered disrespectful to say as much. Going along with that way of thinking made no sense to me. If we’re supposed to raise smart, compassionate, and empathetic adults we have to teach our children to be open to different views and opinions and then decide for themselves what is important. If those views are different than mine, it isn’t disrespectful.
As a parent, I sometimes wondered if my children really heard me talking to them as they were growing up. Were they taking it all in? One can only hope that their ears and hearts were open during those “teachable moments.” I had my doubts as some of my conversations were met with a child’s eye-rolling or arms-crossed posture. I never bothered to ask if they were listening while I parented, even if they were, they wouldn’t have admitted it.
As we concluded our breakfast, I knew in my soul this daughter of mine had actually heard me somewhere along the way. She concluded for herself that she believed it was her place to do something to help this fellow student. In the end, it may not be a popular decision if other classmates disagree, but for her, she believed it was the right thing to do. Time will only tell if the other things I hoped to teach her sunk in, but for now, I have validation that she knows that she has a voice and she knows how to use it.
It’s important to remember the way we teach and lead our children as parents through our actions and our words, our voice, is also how our peers observe and learn from us as well. When we show leadership, conviction, empathy, and pride in our work it will always rub off on the right people. And those who are ready to listen are the ones we can help to become the leaders of tomorrow. Leadership is learned and earned.